How do I feel? I ask my clients this , day after day , coaching them to get in touch with their emotions, trying to create a secure relationship between us, trying to get them to attach to me..
Most of my clients never attached to their mothers , their mothers were drunk, nasty , selfish, absent , abused themselves or just poorly and I wonder if, in my little corner of the world whether I am making a difference in these peoples’ lives?
I come to work 5 days a week , from the cosy support of my reasonable functional (I say this with some sarcasm!) family and listen to tales of really sad and sordid lives and think to myself, My God.. what went wrong? Of course , I imagine My God would say , “well , this is human life, human choices, I gave you a blue print on how to live and mankind duly ignored it ” but this doesn’t stop me feeling so sad for these people , some young women , not even out of teenage years, having seen life at its most obscene.. What chance have they got to see the beauty of God? Well , they are in my prayers. It’s possible that noone has ever prayed for these people before, so there is hope , God can perform miracles at any time and with any person and I find myself knowing , with steadfast stubborness , that I am exactly where God wants me to be , and I ask myself , how do I feel ? I feel pretty self assured, I have the Lord with me, my job is his work and I love it.