I crave space.
Something that is all mine, that others don’t get to share. This is hard in a 3 bedroom terrace with 2 children , a husband and my mother.
My husband has just built me a ‘ Creative Space ‘ (my words) , which is really just a vamped up corner of our dining room with some shelving and a new high table for the computer and a new chair, so as I write , I feel like a new woman, someone who has an area for creating … 😉
I feel like I am at an Apple Shop. Perched up here , feeling posh.
But this has made all the difference for me. I feel like a corner of our home is mine. Even though my daughter will intrude upon it from time to time to monopolise the computer with her latest fad. At the moment, it is mine. My books , my pictures, a clean , de-cluttered lovely little haven of peace.
My mother is a hoarder and I am not. This is hard work , I often hear ” where is that book .. picture .. candle stick holder ” that I brought 500 years ago and have had all my life.. Er.. I think I threw it out. Now , don’t get me wrong , a big part of me feels incredibly guilty for forcibly making my mother clear out all of her shit. It’s her whole life. Her whole life is about fucking stuff. Old photos, old things people have given her , clothes she never wears, boxes of photos that it is nice to look at every decade, letters , old mortgage papers ! For the love of God. Please. Get rid of some of it.
But the ruthless, selfish part of me , is relentlessly harsh. To quote Solomon :
” what do people gain from all their labours
at which they toil under the sun ?
Generations come and generations go ,
but the earth remains forever. ”
(Ecclesiastes 1 v 3-4) The Bible.
Go seek the earth Mother. Seek people – , Your experiences now, the weather now, the night out that you’re enjoying now, the TV now , not how it used to be . Get over the past . It’s sucking you of your life….