I got the job , I took the job. I handed in my notice.
Goodness gracious me , it’s been such a time of change for me , since I turned 40 , there have been such huge shifts in many areas of my life. I wouldn’t change being 40. 40 has brought freedom, acceptance , untrodden depth in my marriage , huge shifts in where I see myself in this unfathomable place we call Earth. I have connected myself together, going back in time to bring back and merge the little girl with the mature woman, embracing and forgiving the young woman I was for her stupidity. I have become all the parts of me. I am 44 later in the year. Life feels like an expanse of time and yet a day till I die. What can I do to embrace this place , that I live and that now sit as a woman. A funny , compassionate , bright , sensitive woman. I love all the parts of me. I love the dark parts that think dreadful thoughts and then laugh with myself. I love that I am my own best friend. I love that my husband is now my other best friend. I can even forgive myself for taking up smoking again after 12 years . This Is just something I need right now. And a new job. The courage to leave a place which has been a major factor in my growth. A place which has taught me so many things about people and myself. I take flight , with strong wings and a sad heart. But know that the places that I will go , will only strengthen the woman that I have become.