Motherhood is or perhaps has become so heavily guilt ridden. I don’t know if a day goes by where I don’t think to myself that I should have in some small way acted differently to have achieved a more positive impact on my children’s well-being . How I could have been a better , less selfish person. How I should even discard my own immediate needs to improve their immediate ones.
I then have moments of shame , disappointment or even ridicule at myself for not being the best I can . I feel sad , heavy or just downright shitty. How long does one live like this for ? Does it last a life time? Is motherhood always destined for a life of Judgement ?