So this week I kinda handed my resignation in. I say kind of , as there is a process of interviewing and being successful at getting my old job back ; before I officially resign my post , But that is practically In the bag so to speak . I basically told my boss that I had deduced management wasn’t for me , That I would gladly go back to my old job or I would find another. Luckily , I know I’m valued enough for her to want to keep me and give me what I want.
The relief I felt when I sent off that email and then had the inevitable conversation about it was palpable. I could feel a release like an autumn breeze flow through my soul – I literally didn’t realise how much I disliked the job until I tasted the freedom of relinquishing it.
I was so proud of myself when I got that job , Team manager of a busy multi borough service , coming such a long way from being a student nurse not 8 years ago. I felt such a sense of pride . But the subjective kudos it comes with will never make up for the reality of the role! Many arbitrary, mindless , soul destroying tasks. I just don’t have the ambition , I don’t see the big picture or yearn to develop the expansion. I just want to trundle about in my little car again, responsible for a group women and go home at the end of day and forget.
I loved my job before & it was perhaps pride or a desire for recognition that drove me to take the post . Thankfully , I have enough humility to take me back to my happy spot and leave all the bureaucracy to some other climber.
I’m getting out the tree!