My head is frazzled. The weekend has been long and hectic, the stress that I feel because of the drama in my life is palpable . My head aches and twists in pain.
I want to escape my mind. Escape the constant overthinking and catastophising. I want some peace. It feels like the days are long and the nights are peppered with uneasy dreams , oddly light states of sleep which bring no rest for the mind. That strange place which titters between wakefulness and the land of dreams. Where one does not quite know if one is asleep but cannot enter that blissful state of deep subconscious .
My body aches to feel held by the tides of effortless being. Longs to know the answers , how to surrender to the inevitable pathways of my existence. Where do I sit in this story , what is my role. What am I meant to do . Who am I meant to be?
I am so tired. Tired of trying. Trying so very hard to get it right. Why can’t someone take over. Look after things , be the organiser, the doer , the lead , the anchor. Because I am falling down , like Alice down the rabbit hole , the blackness beckons.